All You Need Is A Good Idea!

NOT WELL DONE

Let’s try some word association using antonyms. If I were to give you a word, I am reasonably sure that I know what you would select as its opposite. For example, if I say, “high,” you would probably respond, “low.” If I said “rich,” your word might be “poor.” And if I were to say, “bad,” you would probably state, “good.”

But I doubt you would consider the opposite of “bad” to be “well,” as this ad’s headline would have it. As in “Be bad. Snack well.”

Yes, it is the name of the product being promoted. And no, I am not positive exactly how bad they are encouraging me to be. But does it not seem slightly forced to you? And therefore not quite as enticing as they probably had hoped? (The last line of copy—“They let you be bad, and still be good.”—shows that the writer knows the difference.)

I am not suggesting that the headline should have been, “Be bad. Snack good.” And I realize they do not mean that by snacking well you are being bad, though that is one literal interpretation. I really do understand what they were going for. But the thought is unclear, forced and lacking an idea, good or otherwise. Do they really think that the personification of “bad” is a lady in a leather jacket on a motorcycle?

This is by no means an example of a horrible ad. It just seems that they actually might have something interesting to say, and failed to do it. All they really need to get it across is a good idea.

WATER ADS WITHOUT ANY SPARKLE

Ever since my first book was published—a cookbook spoof called, The Gourmet Guide to Water Cookery—I have had a continuing fascination with water. (The book is still available, if not on Amazon, probably on eBay, for less than the cost of reading this blog.)

So when I noticed these ads for two different bottled waters in the same issue of a magazine, I wondered if the same copy cub had written both of them. Because they both were based on the same writing style, consisting of circular reasoning and peculiar promises.

Poland Spring claims it is “Born Better.” As compelling evidence, the copy states that it comes from carefully selected natural springs. (I guess implying their competition prefers randomly chosen locations.) It adds that when you start with something better, you get something better. Which is fairly circular in its logic and of course, they never really state what they mean by “better,” and why they are better.

The Smartwater ad throws in some borrowed—though eye catching—interest. And then tells us, in the one line of copy, that it is, “Smart because simplicity should be savored.” If you are not overwhelmingly convinced by that piece of logic to rush out and purchase some, the slogan should convince you of the futility of doubting their hypothesis. “Smart because it’s made that way.” So there!

Just as big budgets can to some degree overcome vapid messages, because they will be seen over and over till they slowly sink in, so too can large blocks of copy occasionally accommodate tentative, vague thinking, if each sentence builds your proposition.

But if you are dealing with just a few words in your copy, it is vital that each one carries its weight; weak words are exposed more readily when there are no paragraphs to hide behind.

Before you are cryptic and clever, try being clear.

Got the idea?

 

Related articles

• Jennifer Aniston Goes 'Topless' For SmartWater (adrants.com)

We’ve Been Diddled

There is a fat free milk sold in the New York area, named Skinny Cow. You may not love the name, but it certainly is not bad and gets the point across.

So of course, they changed the name.

Below is the old package, along with the new one with the name concealed. Take a moment and try to think what you might call a fat free milk, with rich and creamy taste. I’ll wait.

Okay, now scroll down to see what the actual new name is.

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Yes, when I work at it, I can think of two reasons they selected it. The taste is “over the moon,” perhaps at a stretch this means excellent. And of course there is the old Cat and the Fiddle child’s poem, which ends with “…and the cow jumped over the moon.”

But consumers aren’t going to work that hard on the name. And I’d love to be there at that wonderful moment when someone actually asks for it by name. “Excuse me, where can I find the Over The Moon?”

I do not know if they spent a fortune seeking a new name, or it was done on a whim, but to me, this is on a par with the new Tropicana orange juice fiasco. But Tropicana is at least acknowledging its error, going back to the classic straw in orange design.

When you have the desire to rename your Phufkel, revise your slogan or modernize your logo, reflect on the consequences long and hard before you commit yourself. Then think about it some more.

Before we go “green,” maybe we should go English.

Saving the planet is all well and good, but who is going to save your business? You are, of course. And if pursuing the loftiest ecological and environmental goals will help get new business, then by all means you are going to go green. Particularly if it is no bother and especially if it will eventually pay out so that it doesn’t cost anything. And most especially if you can tell the world how good you are.

Nothing wrong with a little self-interest that also serves the common good. But when you brag about what you are doing, it would be nice if people understood what you are claiming.

This coffee sleeve from Starbucks—and I do not mean to single them out, but they are still ubiquitous, even with all their store closings—is a perfect example. There will be a prize for the first person that can tell me what the heck “10% post-consumer fiber,” or “60% post-consumer fiber” actually means. And if the higher percentage is better, or the lower number.

It is not Starbuck’s fault; I am sure it is governmental legalese that everyone must conform to. And while few know what it means, it does sound impressive and desirable, (like single needle tailoring for shirts, which also has no meaning to most of us).

Yes, I am glad to help you save the planet. But I sure wish you would be clearer about how you are doing it.

A Real Croc

I know that all the marketing blogs are doing Super Bowl commercial critiques. But at a cost of $100,000.00 a second, somehow I don’t think you are about to make that kind of media buy. So let me continue to stick to things that I think may be more pertinent to you than a three million dollar spot (plus production and residuals, of course).

Like this ad that Barneys New York ran last Sunday. It is for a molded ceramic crocodile head skeleton. Its price is $660, and it is a limited edition of 30. It may indeed be a collectible (the artist is Gilles Caffier). But what in the world are they trying to say? The heck with the recession, Barneys will always be Barneys? Hurry in, there are only 30 pieces available?

Of all the items they could have featured, this one seems the most peculiar. And that may be exactly why they selected it.

But while outrageous certainly trumps invisible, weird doesn’t do much for anyone.

Gotcha!

You may see it on the top of taxis in New York. Or painted on the side of barns. Or printed on the oars of a rented rowboat.

And they all basically say the same thing: Does advertising (in this location) get your attention? And then comes the answer, with what they believe is a compelling, motivating, irrefutable argument: “It just did.”

Well, yes, I did notice it. But do they really feel that now I have been persuaded to advertise in a particular medium? Somehow I fell tricked, like they got me to look almost in spite of myself. The only reaction I have is a negative one.

So yes, there are some standard tricks and techniques that you can use to get someone to pay attention to your marketing. But it is a good idea not to use them and instead to come up with something new.

And make sure that there is something beneficial for your customer waiting on the other side of the headline.

Bad Decision

In the October 27 issue of The New Yorker, there are a series of ads from MassMutual. They are all illustrations, and the first is a full page showing a woman in her yard planting a seedling. The entire text reads: “What is the sign of a good decision? MassMutual presents an interpretation by seven artists.”

Okay. I’ll assume they mean that planting a tree is a good decision. And the intention to stand out by using a bland illustration rather than a photograph or actually providing any information was a conscious one. But when you turn the page, expecting to see the first of the seven interpretations, there is, instead, an ad from American Express. A few pages later, however, there is another full page ad, again asking the question, “What is the sign of a good decision?” Here the illustration is of two people on lounges on a beach. The woman is under a shade tree; the man, after close inspection, has made a bad decision to stay in the sun, as he is sunburned, frowning and has even dropped his ice cream cone, poor devil.

There are several other in the series, some with two people, one of whom has made a “bad decision.” Some have only one person. One has a man in a hammock, sleeping (what was the good decision? Napping?). The other shows a man either catching a fish with his bare hands, or releasing one that he has caught. Finally, the payoff. The last ad, full page, inside cover, showing that the earlier seedling has now blossomed into an apple tree, ripe for picking. And the copy we have all been waiting breathlessly for: “What is the sign of a good decision? In the world of personal finance, it’s Mass Mutual.”

How many ways do I think this is a bad approach? Let me count the ways.

•    It is really dull looking, even for a financial company.
•    Is it actually a financial company? The first page copyright says Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance Company.
•    Is anyone beside someone writing a blog about ideas really going to spend this much time with the ads? This is harder than “Where’s Waldo?”
•    With all the economic turmoil today, why not provide real solutions?

Finally, for extra credit, can you spot the “Good decision” in this ad?

Subway (Not The Sandwich)

Riding in the subway this morning, I noticed an ad for a product from the transit museum. (The transit museum is where you can buy items that feature, appropriately enough, subway related items, like complete sets of old tokens, chocolate tokens, cuff links made from old tokens, historic maps, subway maps printed on umbrellas, mouse pads, t-shirts, gym bags, puzzles, plus watches, books, you can even purchase memorabilia such as air gauges, vintage enamel signs and badges.)

What struck me was that the ad was for silk boxer shorts, decorated with a subway map. My question, aside from whether or not they had my size, was why they selected this item to feature. Perhaps they thought that because it was unusual, it would bring more attention to their store. Perhaps they think there is a big market for silk subway boxer shorts. I don’t really know.

But I do know that what you choose to promote can often be as important as the way you choose to promote it. So when you are preparing your marketing materials, if you have a choice of items to feature, think hard about which one you want to make prominent. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go with the unexpected, if that’s what your gut tells you to do. It does mean that you should think about it, and not just feature the newest version of what you have always featured.

What do you think?

Blipverts

A British ad agency, Mother, has done a series of "blipverts," which are five-second TV spots, for Coke.

According to last Thursday's the New York Times, these blipverts depict the sounds and noises associated with drinking Coke, such as the cap being taken off the bottle, or ice being dropped into a glass.

Andy Medd, a partner at Mother, said, "We're simply creating anticipation of desire. It's very simple."
The brand director said it this way, that the goal is "reminding customers of the pleasure of enjoying an ice cold Coke."

Which one would you rather have speaking in your next meeting? And which one are you going to emulate when you write your next ad or headline or speech? If you said the guy from Mother, I will wash your mouth out with Pepsi.